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Dark Moons & Nightingales

by Kathie Touin

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  • Full Digital Discography

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    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of The Falling Keep Falling, People Keep Dancing Here, All I Am Is Here, In The Bleak Midwinter (2022), There's A Wireless Station Down In My Heart, This Time (Save The World?), Facing The Falling Sky, Dark Moons & Nightingales, and 2 more. , and , .

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1.
BLADES BEYOND THE BOUNDARIES Are there no deep dark secrets about you Do you wear your thorns on the inside If you open up will nothing scare me Could you be a place where I could hide Is there nothing here but softness No cutting words to wound my soul Are there blades within the boundaries An open hand become a slap to stop me cold How do you know How much fear insulates you The feelings that make you shut down How do you turn The fears of years standing When they're all so demanding To put you down Shut you down Can I trust your hand to be there when I reach Are you pulling out the carpet as I come near Do I need to find support for when you let go Can I trust that I'll come home and find you here Alone How do you know How much fear insulates you The feelings that make you shut down How do you turn The fears of years standing When they're all so demanding To put you down Shut you down All I want is to throw myself in deep All I want is to be the one you want to keep How do you know How much fear insulates you The feelings that make you shut down How do you turn The fears of years standing When they're all so demanding How do you know How much fear insulates you The feelings that make you shut down How do you turn The fears of years standing When they're all so demanding To put you down Shut you down To put you down Shut you down
2.
THE WORLD AND YOU (GREEN MAN) You are my green man My little bit of wild in the city You are the sunlight on a leaf That keeps me rooted to the ground You are the bird against the sky That teaches me to love what I have found You found me in the forest Tangled in the brambles and the briars I brought you stones and rain And the smoke from Beltane fires You give me love and grace And guide me through the worry and the wonder You love me for my wyrd ways And hold me through the thunder We show each other paths That lead through sunlight and through shade And while you're walking here beside me I will never feel afraid A hand so strong A touch so soft The world and you This is enough You found me waiting for you Dressed in stars and velvet black I left the forest for this island I have all that I could ask
3.
BACK TO CALIFORNIA Bold as brass that sky above such a tired, washed-out blue If you say you miss the rain they look at you strange must be something wrong with you Devil winds howl through canyons now almost all year-round and I don't miss the dust or those winds I couldn't trust or the shakiness of the ground So where have all the redwinged blackbirds flown and where have all the tumbleweeds blown Are October skies still that brilliant blue I might miss them, but I don't miss you and I don't want to go back to California Sunset driving down the Grapevine, poppies spread 'cross the hills like wildfire squinting hard against the sunlight burning my eyes I'm hot and sweaty and tired But I've come to say goodbye at least one more time to the dry and sun-baked place I used to live 'Cause I need clouds and rain to wash away my pain and a softer light than this sun can give Looking down from high above the ocean dazzles, diamond and blue but those wide-open spaces and wild places have disappeared from view
4.
THE BREAKING OF THE DAY And I know you at the breaking of the day so close to me yet miles away Did I not try hard enough I just wasn't strong I didn't trust you Did I wait too long And now we fly on a separate path in a cloudless sky with no way back And I miss you like I've missed a lifetime no second chance no words, no rhyme Do you know how you run so deep I can't escape you even in my sleep Just a word or a song from a stranger's lips and I relive every touch, every kiss We came so far we got so close but the world pulled us apart and swallowed us whole But I stay tangled and the thread remains but I cannot reach you and I can't disengage Do you still think of me how I was that day I turned my back on love and walked away And I know you at the breaking of the day so close to me yet miles away Forever I will breathe you forever we will be at the breaking of the day you're forever part of me
5.
LITTLE BIT OF BLUE There isn't much that I can find here It's all shadows and echoes and images Of all the things I thought I knew All that keeps me focused On that little bit of blue The sky is cracked along the grey and the black Keep looking up Keep looking up That window where the sun breaks through A quick reveal, that little bit of blue I've told you you could search for days And only find starlight and dark moons and nightingales Only you know what you have been through The thing you held on for That little bit of blue But sometimes we meet in the centre Hands reach for hands and we touch as if right on cue And everything that keeps us together We find in each other's eyes That little bit of blue
6.
It May Rain 04:35
IT MAY RAIN Another step, another mile So far to go before I smile But it will be there at the end I can almost see it around the bend The path is dark, the way is long I used to know it, used to be strong So much has happened in this down time With no words written, and nothing rhymed It's light and elusive And you choose how you live Gossamer yet strong as steel Don't let the sky tell you how to feel It may rain Moving through currents of time Looking back at cruel and kind Moments that pushed you out Let you crash-land in fear and doubt Great strides and deep breaths Deep footprints and gentle tread Silence, cacophony Science or anarchy Sunlight glancing through the trees Reveals the places I need to be And I can take whatever's mine Be it here or now or the rest of time
7.
BRUISED AGAIN Not again she said I thought I'd closed that stupid door That keeps on swinging open I've walked into it so often before Thought I was through And out the other side But I guess that I lied She told me Bruised again Not again she sighed That careful reopening of a wound That took so long to close When it couldn't heal too soon Thought it was over Relieved it was done But it's once again begun She told me Bruised again Returning, still burning Dormant or unstoked coals A circle turning inside this yearning For contact, connection from soul to soul And it's been going on so long Something so hard must surely be wrong It's an embrace that goes on just a little too long Till it's hard to know Just when to let go Not again, she shouted My ears are ringing from the quiet That is all I pull around me What I won't give up just yet Thought we were through And beyond these tides But one of us lied She touched me Bruised again
8.
SEASON OF THE RAVEN The wind blew open a hidden door no one noticed had been there before bird flew in, covered in rain season of the raven began again On a soft spring morning he came without warning eyes of jet and hair of obsidian he seemed to spring from the very earth sang of returning to the land of his birth his hands held flowers, vines covered the towers hearts were opened and knew how to love again Sunlight surrounded him the fields all turned golden those dark eyes of his gathered everything in the sun stood high in the summer sky on warm dry winds he circled high his hands held a wheat sheaf, scattering dry leaves the days are closing and nights drawing in again The trees shine in gold red winds whisper what he said the night like the moon on a raven's wing the thin veils are parting, leaves are falling autumn lies waiting, migrating birds calling his hands held the answer, this wind and sky dancer and opened the old ways again The snow lies deep around weighs heavy on the ground everywhere white but the black of his eyes the world lies sleeping, holding its breath waiting for springtime to end its rest his hands held against the night clinging to dawn's pale light and circle around, begin again The wind blew open a hidden door no one had noticed had been there before bird flew in, covered in rain season of the raven began again...
9.
THE SOLACE OF BIRDS The solace of birds is a trust that hurts It's something so small you could crush it with a sigh It will stay there and hold fast Secure in the knowledge That to damage one feather would make your soul die The solace of birds is a freedom that flies When everything else is weighed down to the ground By the petty and paltry, the day to day meanness It's the hope that you cling to The escape you have found And I don't have wings And I'm scared of heights I'm allergic to feathers And I don't like to fly But the trust and the freedom Can still lift me out of me And when touched by such things There's no need to ask why The solace of birds I often take with me When swallowed by city, drowning in crowds There I find solitude alone in the multitude There I find silence in a world that's too loud The frailty of birds is belied by their swiftness Just try to follow when they fly past the sun And never you mind The distances travelled through Whatever the journey, it's only begun And I don't have wings And I'm scared of heights I'm allergic to feathers And I don't like to fly But swiftly I'm taken Again lifted out of me When touched by such things There's no need to ask why
10.
Indelible 03:55
INDELIBLE You're unshiftable You lie like bedrock A river running through me A theme endlessly repeating I can't shift you You've always been here A part of everything I am Brilliant, infuriating man Why can't I write this song I've been trying for so long It just won't seem to end I get it done and it begins again I fled the darkness I was afraid of The light was bright and blinding But the shadow was so frightening Blunted by the hardness Headaches from the wall Torn to pieces by your silence And bewildered by your absence I, I don't want to return I can't believe there's anything left to learn But I could use an ending Just some sign my soul is mending You're etched into me Indelible But I could hold this close inside If I could only get a kiss goodbye
11.
EARTHQUAKE WEATHER The sky is lemon yellow, dirty ochre It's stiller than it has a right to be And everything is hazy, holding its breath Feels like earthquake weather to me You're sitting there stony-faced again Right next to me but miles away it seems I can't decide if I should stand my ground or go Feels like earthquake weather to me And everything could shift at any moment How can I trust the floor when it won't stay still And everything I counted on Relied upon, depended on Seems to scatter like the dust clouds on the hills When the days seem set and certain You say you've seen all there is to see I say there's a world out there, horizon to horizon Looks like earthquake weather to me And everything is still and waiting No breeze to blow this lurid sky away I hang onto the world in case it slips sideways again Feels like earthquake weather today
12.
Still Life 03:32
STILL LIFE I'm a flowerless vase Mourning its loss of orchids and roses Never knew I could feel so empty Without you somewhere near me And everything smelled so good Not like here where it smells Of paper pulp and acid rain And everything felt so good Not like now where it all feels as if it's gone away again I'm the book you left behind With its pages creased, dog-eared and tattered You didn't stay to see how it ends I'm the car abandoned on the road Not worth fixing, nothing left to salvage Memories tucked behind the seats And every scratch and dent and rusted seam One by one they come along and leave again One more season Of wind and fog and rain I'm the soul you left behind All hollow eyes and no surprises And I don't miss you anymore Except sometimes in the morning
13.
THE DARK SEASON It's a time for going in To find where all our endings begin It's the time we lose the sun And all that's stopped Has only just begun Black nights bring cold winds The year turns and seems to slow We pull in close and staring out We leave the open air and move below Days move through swiftly now But night time pulls them down again The winter can seem so harsh But its gift is to let us look within Huddle close, enjoy the fire Images found to inspire Take the time that's handed you Emerge in spring to start anew The snow is like a gentle blanket Icicles splinter the sun Only now is the sky so blue Another year's worth of work is done
14.
Left 03:55
LEFT How can this be all that I have left of you You were only here A moment ago Just memories and unsung dreams And scents and sounds I almost catch If I could only gather it all Would it bring you back How could you leave When everything was so fine How can I grieve When you still feel like mine How can something make me cry By being dusty That fingerprint upon it Would be yours What am I to do with everything That's left of you In closets, wardrobes, cupboards And chests of drawers How can I sleep when there's A hole here where you were Why do I dream if I only dream of you How can I go on when The door shut so hard on us And left me here not Knowing what to do
15.
Home 03:52
HOME I want to make a home I'd build it beautiful and strong To keep the rain out And the sunlight in 'cause I don't want to move again I want to make a home One that would last my whole life long To keep love in And keep fear out 'cause I know what that's all about And it would stand Beneath a sky of blue And it could shelter Both me and you And we could make it all our own And call it home I want to make a home To hold all these precious things To keep them safe Not let them slip away 'cause I might need them all someday Let's build a better place And call it home
16.
ORCADIA (WIND, SEA & SKY) There's an island in my head and I'm not sure why It crept in through that wide-open sky Skylarks sing when I close my eyes high against summer's long light Wind, sea and sky are calling me to return to sand and stone loch and burn wind, sea and sky There's an island in my head I can hear the sea sigh It washed into me bringing seaweed and brine Waves crash when I close my eyes Sliding me in on the tide Sea and sand and stone and strand grass and sky and birds that fly seal and light and summer twilight and the wind and the storm and the warning You will return and the calling Return, return, return, return There's an island in my head I'm not sure how it got there it must have blown in on that crystal clear air It sings through my blown-about hair pushing me to go back there Wind, sea and sky are calling me to return to sand and stone curlew and tern wind, sea and sky
17.
MUSIC IN SEARCH OF A FILM (Instrumental track)

about

Mystical, poetic, shadowy, luminous: 16 original songs and an intriguing instrumental about letting go, finding love, the wonder of the wild and the puzzle of places- inspired by the Pacific waves of the California coast, city life in London and the stone circles of Scotland's Orkney Islands.

credits

released October 1, 2009

Kathie Touin: keyboards, piano, vocals, guitar, bass, percussion, programming
Arron Storey: additional guitar tracks
All songs written, arranged, recorded, mixed and produced by Kathie Touin
Mastered by Adam Helal, London

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Kathie Touin Scotland, UK

linktr.ee/kathietouin

Singer/songwriter from California, now living in Scotland's Orkney Islands. Kathie writes, arranges, produces and records her music from her own Starling Recording Studio.

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